15 Dec How To Make New Years Resolutions You Will Stick Too!
How To Make New Years Resolutions You Will Stick Too!
Create a life vision around your core values and this will become your guide to behaviour and choices in 2018 and beyond…
It’s that time of the year, when we often spend time reflecting on what was, what could’ve been and how we would feel now had we ‘reached our goals’. We all have a vision of what we want our lives to look like, if we can understand why we want it to look like that, we can then take loving actions to create that vision.
I think a good place to start is to bring attention to how you’ve gone about ‘goal setting’ in the past and acknowledging what has and hasn’t worked, what you have already learnt about yourself and how you ‘work’. As we all know, what works for some people, doesn’t have the same effect on others.
Take some time to think about all the things that you have achieved this year and why they have been important to you. Write everything down, even the small things that may not be as important as other things.
Now write down all the actions you took that helped you be successful, these will become part of your plans and you can apply these actions to new goals.
What were your ‘I’ve had enough’ moments that made you take action and change your lifestyle for the better because you were fed up with feeling a certain way, what were these feelings? Write them down.
What were your barriers, why do you think you didn’t achieve things and fell back into old habits, what did you learn about yourself that will help you get closer to your life vision?
Do it, write this stuff down… make it real!
Your goals should reflect what you really want your life to look like. Goals help you focus on what is truly important to you. If you don’t know where you’re heading, how will you know which road to take when you have to make that decision? Goals help create self-belief as you make progress to what is important to you and they give your effort purpose and meaning.
It’s important to set action based goals rather than outcome based goals. When you set action based goals it means you can be in control and the achievement of your goals doesn’t depend on someone else’s actions or their decisions.
Don’t attach happiness or self-worth to your goals. You can never guarantee that you will achieve every goal you set yourself. But you can absolutely choose to take loving actions that support your values so you can work on your life vision everyday.
Goals that are supported by your core values will trigger positive emotions because you enjoy the actions you take and you will naturally increase the amount of time spent on these activities.
Sometimes we think we want something and then get frustrated because we are still not happy or we didn’t accomplish as much as what we wanted to. For example… you got the new job, fancy title and extra money but now you are now spending less time with your family and that makes you unhappy.
You wish you had more ‘time to yourself’, or is it that you really need to be spending more time with the people who have a positive effect in your life and less time with people who drain you?
You think you need to earn more money so you can start saving for a holiday but maybe you just need to stop spending money on things that don’t bring you joy or you don’t actually need.
What do you value most?
Your CORE values should reflect who you really are now.
However, when making your list of values it’s good to have one or two values based on the kind of person you want to become, this can be motivational.
Create a list of as many things that are most important to you, these are your values. Once you have your list, come up with your top 20 in order of importance, 1 being MOST important all the way to 20. Things you might include could be:
- Health
- Security
- Family
- Independence
- Comfort
- Travel
- Education
- Happiness
- Religion/spirituality
- Contribute/charity
- Meaningful job/career
- Marriage/significant other
- Free time
- Physical activity
- Creativity
- Status
- Community
- Kindness
- Friendships
- Experiences
- Achievement
- Environment
- Sustainability
- Loyalty
- Team work
- Personal development
- Power
- Order
- Self respect
- Culture
- Wisdom
- Inner peace
- Affection
- Recognition
How do I set my goals?
SMART GOALS – You’ve heard of these before and it won’t be the last…
Here’s a little twist on the traditional smart goals:
S – Specific… Significant. There’s no room for guess work here.
M – Measurable… Meaningful. It is in line with my value of…
A – Attainable… Action based. Is it in your control?
R – Relevant… Rewarding. Is it worth it?
T – Trackable… Time bound. When do I want/need this to happen so I can commit?
You can use this for your life vision and to then set smaller goals: 5 yr, 1 yr, 6 months, 1 month.
Then the smaller goals you can do weekly and daily, they become your life, so make then count. Each of these plans should be based on the previous plan.
Now the question is… do you top 5 goals line up with your top 5 values?
Don’t become overwhelmed and feel like you have to do all of these things straight away. Just as your current lifestyle has taken time to evolve and become what it is, so will working towards your new goals and life vision.
Rather than changing everything or taking away things you are already doing, change your mindset and think about adding things to your life that will bring you joy and get you closer to your goals and life vision. Create a plan that fits in with your current lifestyle now and one that allows room for change as you work towards how you want to live your life in the future.
Create a daily to-do list that you can use as a guide to work with that will help you make the best decisions everyday and move you down the right road.
Use things to help you create new habits and stick to your daily schedule. You will already have an idea of the things that can help you stick to your daily schedule. For example:
- Journalling
- Setting alarms to remind you to do things
- Tell your family and friends about your life vision and goals, ask for their support
- Use visual reminders at home and work
- RE-ASSESS your goals continually and make adjustments accordingly
No-one is perfect, live as close to your values as often as you can and be kind to yourself.
